Month: October 2018

Jam is Dangerous

I make jam. A few years back I used to make a lot of it. As a novice jam maker, I did what any naive beginner does: I attacked the world of summer fruit with gusto. Raspberries. Strawberries. Peaches. Anything I could get my hands on was boiled up with sugar and stuck in jars. I even made fancy labels. My jam cupboard is still full of dark, sticky mysteries from that period of my life.

Leave us alone.

What nobody tells you about jamming is the sheer danger involved. It’s lethal. I embark upon each batch with trepidation.

To get a jam to set, particularly the jelly-based ones like marmalade, you heat the fruit juice and sugar up to a rolling boil. Then you keep boiling it to reduce the liquid down until the setting point is reached; when a drop of jam placed on a cold ceramic saucer quickly sets and turns to jelly.

Continue reading “Jam is Dangerous”

To PR or not to PR?

I promised myself I wouldn’t get political or overly preachy on UrbanCrows. I’m trying to write about stuff that I find interesting or that strikes me as quirky. And I’m trying hard to keep it engaging. The last thing we need in our lives is another soap box site banging on about domestic or national politics. Having said that…

ThisProportional Representation (PR) referendum is driving me bat-shit crazy.

Continue reading “To PR or not to PR?”

I’m in Love. I confess.

I’m still in love with Azurite. I met her on-line and now I can’t let her go. Just the other day she sent me another full length body shot, mounted no less. Apparently she comes from Morocco. Oh my giddy aunt. I’m going to have to sit down.

Don’t tell anyone, but I think you’re hot.
From Amazing Geologist.

Nobody Eats Crows

Not even the Chinese. Now, hold on.. before you get all upset with me for stereotyping, I got that comment from my personal banker at CIBC who’s Chinese-Canadian. In fact, what she said was:

“We (the Chinese) eat nearly anything that moves, but not crows. I wonder why that is? Maybe because they’re black or maybe they’re unlucky.”

Which got me thinking. Does anyone eat crows?

Continue reading “Nobody Eats Crows”

Mushrooms

Have you noticed, there’s been something happening because of the amazing autumn weather recently? Sunny, but misty in the morning, so it’s been quite damp early in the day. If you’ve taken a walk in Pacific Spirit Park or any of the local forests, you’ve probably noticed the incredible explosion of mushrooms everywhere. They’re on fallen logs, tree stumps, absolutely everywhere. Even the dog turds along the paths have sprouted white hairy beards.

Continue reading “Mushrooms”

My Wife’s Gone to Indonesia

Jakarta? No, she flew there.

That old chestnut of a joke got me thinking about place name puns and jokes. We learned some goodies when I was a kid at my Hogwarts-style boys only grammar school in Kent. Most of them for some reason involve wives and exotic locations, channeling the teller’s deep-seated desire to see the wife travel a long way away perhaps? Ah hem… moving on.

Continue reading “My Wife’s Gone to Indonesia”

Are you Sexually Dimorphic?

We all know that some birds look spectacular. And we all know that some sing like angels. But did you know that the two usually don’t go together?

Beautifully coloured birds with ostentatious feathery outfits can’t sing worth shit, while small brown jobbies that look like pointy spuds with wings sound wonderful. In short, the prettier the bird, the worse it sings. This is partly intuitive I suppose but now it’s been proven by an in-depth study from the University of Oxford.

Continue reading “Are you Sexually Dimorphic?”

The Municipal Elections

A few nights back, my wife and I went to a candidates’ meeting for the looming Vancouver municipal elections. In our neighborhood that means only one thing: A large crowd with an average age close to70 and one of the increasingly rare occasions where I still feel young and mentally on top of things.

Continue reading “The Municipal Elections”