And A Big Thank You..

To everyone who’s ever read anything on the Urbancrows blog. Sometime last week, the blog sailed past 50,000 hits: not readers, hits -so some are return users (why, oh why, would you come back…?) but either way, I’m a happy camper.

I can’t thank anyone who’s ever read a piece of mine enough for making urbancrows successful beyond anything I could have imagined when I started it. My main aim when I kicked off was to record a few career stories for my kids, post some dumb opinions, and give vent to my sarcastic Englishman side while improving my writing at the expense of my reader’s rapidly eroding patience.

I succeeded with 2 of these objectives: my kids are yet to read a single story but I’ve definitely posted some pretty dumb, sarcastic pieces. Ho hum.

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Exploring For Red Blobs

One key lesson that my glittering multi-decade career at the cutting edge of mineral exploration has taught me – which I touched on in an earlier post– is that much of your university ejumakashun in geology is a total waste of time. Mohr’s circle? Shite. Ternary phase diagrams? Unnecessary torture. Graptolite evolution? The biggest waste of intellectual effort since David Icke went nuts (look him up…)

But urbancrows is here to help with a shiny pearl of geo-wisdom. Undergraduate geologists who feel compelled to self-flagellate by joining the exploration business (foolhardy souls…) can safely cut out most of their studies and still guarantee themselves a successful career by focusing on one thing and one thing only. Red blobs. Learn how to spot, interpret and explore red blobs and you’ll be set for life with a management position just around your 20-something corner.

A red blob near UBC. Obviously real.
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An A to Z of Mining Terms

Every geologist owns (or should own) an A to Z of geological terms. Mine is a dog-eared Penguin paperback; a nerd-fest of geoscience words that was used over and over when I was still learning the trade. It cost me 50 pence new in Portsmouth in 1981. Now that I’m an experienced professional with …ah hem..30+ years under my belt, and in theory I know what I need to know for the job, it sits discarded in a tattered box along with my sedimentary geology and stratigraphy texts (good riddance to them…)

Yup, that’s the one.

I was reminded of the old A to Z recently by my good friend Mario, currently COVID-stuck in Colombia. He suggested I put together an Urbancrows alphabetical list of some favourite mining terms; my own personalized dictionary with some customized definitions. It’s taken longer than I’d hoped and I had a tough time picking one word for each letter, but here goes. Enjoy.

PS: there are 2 terms under “C” because I had to write about Cornwall and its influence on the development of modern mining but wanted to include something else as well.

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Things Geologists Do.

Answering The Call Of Nature

This week, Urbancrows tackles one of the more fragrant subjects that other lesser blogs won’t touch. A few weeks back, some friends and I were discussing field dump stories. Actually, someone asked the question “What’s your worst toilet experience in field?” which triggered a prolonged discussion that went downhill fast. If you’re of a nervous disposition, stop reading now and check out my harmless posting on crows or classical music instead. If you’re made of sterner stuff, don’t forget to read the comments at the end of this piece. Thanks to everyone who’s sent me their own personal misadventure.

Let’s talk toilets. Or the lack of them
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Know Your News Releases

I’ll Take Disclosure for $500 Please.

Urbancrows’ adult education series continues today with a post focused on junior mining company news releases.

All the news that’s unfit to print.

Writing a good mining/exploration news release takes patience, skill, persuasive rhetoric and apparently, for some companies, a shit ton of old fashioned chutzpah.

They come in many flavours, ranging from 100% plain-vanilla factual to 100% artificially-enhanced, bubblegum fiction.

Whether it’s regulatory or technical, these are some of the different types of releases that you can find on the wires on any given day. Many were suggested by my eclectic and awesomely intelligent group of mining buddies who’ve seen just about everything there is to see news-wise given their hundreds of collective years of experience. (Thanks, Whatsapp & Twitter crowds, you know who you are.)

I thought it would be fun to also throw in a quick question suggestion to put to the IR person if you’re motivated enough to call the company after reading their latest issuance.

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My First Field Trip

One day in early September 1981, my dad dropped me and my Berghouse backpack off at a scummy B&B at No. 14 Nightingale Road, Southsea, what was then the red-light district of Portsmouth.

Bye. He said, climbing back into our blue Chevette. See you at Christmas.

Righty ho. I replied stuffing the tenner he’d given me into my empty wallet.

And with that, I tumbled headfirst into a brave new world of post-secondary education, pubs, field schools, and student poverty.

Mrs. Smart

“Mrs. Smart’s B&B: No Vacancies” read the tired, unwelcoming sign in the window of the 3-story terrace house. Nicotine-stained lace curtains added a touch of brothel chic to the look.

A car parked in front of a building

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I spent far too long here.
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A Musical Interlude

Why Is It Mining, Always Bloody Mining?

I know. I hear you. I’ve been so preoccupied dredging up old mining stories from the caved-in stopes of my aging brain, I’d clean forgotten that I used to post musical curios on the urbancrows blog. So, as a brief diversion from earth moving, I want to highlight a new guitar discovery for me. Not strictly classical this time around -it’s more contemporary guitar, but with a huge dash of Latin flavour.

My new friend.

For some obscure algorithmic reason, Australian musicians have muscled their way to the top of my youtube page recently. The Ozzie genius, Tommy Emmanuel, stands out as perhaps the best of the lot; a self taught master of finger style guitar. I had tickets to see him at the end of April at Vancouver’s QE Theatre but- guess what?- the gig was cancelled. Funny that. I live in hope that it’ll be back on next year.

Emmanuel’s total technical mastery of the steel string is on display as he turns House of the Rising Sun into a walking blues. And here he is in a fun recording of an old Django Reinhardt gipsy jazz tune with the great German jazz guitarist, Joscho Stephan.

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Into Africa

It’s funny how certain blog posts seem to bring back fond memories for some readers. And it’s not always the stories you expect that end up resonating with the audience. To my surprise, this story turned out to be one of them. Many thanks for all the kind comments.

A Biographical Interlude

Tell me Ralph, how did you end up in Africa working down a mine? How did a middle class boy from southeast Kent, of distinctly average intelligence, end up in exotic places smashing rocks, and getting paid to do it?

Glad you asked. See.. I was lucky. Somewhere, sometime back in the 1980s there was a golden horseshoe flying about with my name written on it.

There I am. Yup. That’s Me 1984.

I graduated from a second-rate college which had a first-rate geology program in June 198…8…oh alright, if you must know, 1984. To my surprise, I landed a decent degree which gave me a few more career options than I might otherwise have had.

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Things Geologists Do #7

Ore Pass Mapping

Mines are amazing places. I’ve made no secret on the blog for my love of underground. The smells, the sounds. It’s visceral shit that gets deeply ingrained. It grabs hold of your innards and won’t let go. To this day, if someone invites me on an underground trip, the excitement builds the moment I hit the change house. Overalls, hat lamp, boots, gloves, hard hat…

Me. Luvvin’ it. Iran.

Luckily, I’ve never suffered from claustrophobia -if I did, I’d never have taken my first job in South Africa and would probably still be stacking shelves in Waitrose supermarket. More Heinz beans on aisle 6 please.

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Things Geologists Do #6

Rock Licking

What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever licked- something that you’re happy to talk about in polite company which isn’t a body part?

When I was very small, I licked a slug and some squashed caterpillars I’d collected in a bucket and then pulped with a potato masher (I think I relived that episode as a student on a particularly depraved University field trip but my memory is hazy.)

Then, in my twenties, when I really should’ve known better, I managed to get my tongue stuck on a deep-frozen door key in the middle of an Albertan winter. Sad to say, I was sober, so I can’t claim student inebriation as mitigation for that brainless chapter in The Life Of Ralph.

Hello. My name is Ralph. Can I lick your rocks?
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