Tag: conferences

The Corpse Mineral: My Favourite Rocks Part 3

Every September I head up to Beaver Creek in Colorado for a mining conference. At 9,000ft up in the Rockies, it’s one of the most scenic conferences we attend. The conference format is one-on-one meetings; company management teams and investment delegates locked in small, anemic cubicles. The industry reps try their best to sound enthusiastic as they make their investment pitch for the 37th time in 2 days to the bored bankers. It’s hard work to be sure, but one thing keeps me going; something I look forward to every year- a sordid little secret that I keep to myself.

A beaver in a creek

Sexy Time

When the show finishes on the Friday afternoon, I jump into my sensible mid-priced rental car and hit the I70 heading for Denver. It’s not my favourite road. It’s busy, twisty and in shit condition with traffic cops all over the place. The 2-hour drive to Denver can seem much longer if the weather’s bad. But it’s all worth it when I pull into the car park at the Denver Mineral Show, put on my geo-nerd cosplay outfit, and step into the first of the 3 giant exhibition halls. Crystal sexy time is here!

Me at the Denver show, complete with 2 right hands and 9 fingers. Thanks AI!
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Speaking of Disasters…

How to screw up a presentation.

Stuck to a stained, gray padded seat in the speaking hall at yet another retail investment conference, the guy in front of you is falling asleep as the presentation on the main stage goes totally off the rails. It goes so badly wrong, dragging on for minute after endless tooth-achey minute, that you’re praying for lightning to strike and end the speaker’s misery. The irony is, the speaker kicked off by telling you that they’re going to present a very brief overview of what their company is up to -you know, just the highlights…the steaky sizzle…

A stained chair.

Bad corporate presentations are a missed opportunity for companies. The weird thing is, having paid thousands of bucks for a brief 15 minutes to pump their Tier 1 project, the way some companies present you wouldn’t think they gave a damn. Apparently, Mr CEO is doing the audience a favour by mumbling incoherently for 25 minutes, 10 minutes over their allotted time, eyes cast down at the monitor screen as their complex technical slides bludgeon the audience to a slow death. There are usually dozens of companies presenting each day, so you’d think they’d maybe want to make an effort to stand out, right?

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The Conference Circuit

Normal service is resumed on the Urbancrows Blog. Lucky you.

October 2021 – the last day of the New Orleans Investment Conference. After 3 long days in the Hilton hotel on Poydrass Street I was into the home stretch. One more day and I’d be heading back to Raincouver and my relentlessly leaky kitchen roof. To maintain my laser focus on the job at hand -promoting my modest silver company- I decided fuzzily through drooping eye lids that a bucket of extremely strong coffee was called for. Off I went to the coffee shop.

The Hilton on Poydras Street in NO. A design classic.

Everything was going swimmingly. I’d been in the slow-moving java line for 30 minutes, sipping from a bottle of water, propped up at an alarming angle against a counter full of herbal tea boxes, chocolate covered beans and refillable mugs. I was drifting off into a terminal coma, convinced my time at the front of the line would never come when the man in front of me finally got to the counter. Leaning in close to the perspex-walled counter he uttered the words:

“I’d like a caramel frappacino with soy milk and no caramel. My wife doesn’t like the slimy feeling of the syrup.”

I snorted, narrowly avoiding spitting iced water all over his flabby, sweat-soaked back.

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